Is there something in your life you’re struggling with?
Maybe your career isn’t feeling right. Should you move to a new city and take a new job? Should you change fields? What should you do now that the job you really wanted didn’t work out?
Maybe your stuck place is in your relationship. How should you respond to the challenges you’re facing? Should you split up? Should you make a more formal commitment? Should you enter counseling? Should you start this relationship at all?
Maybe you’re wondering about your calling. What is it you’re supposed to do with this one, precious life? What are you being called to express?
Maybe you’re trying to decide whether to have a child or whether you want to take a risk in entrepreneurship. Maybe it’s about how to capitalize on a transition you’re facing. Maybe it’s about digging underneath the shoulds to figure out what you want.
Whatever it is, there’s no simple answer.
When there’s no simple answer, you can get stuck in the question
If this were a question of a good choice vs. a bad choice, you wouldn’t be stuck. You’re stuck precisely because there are upsides – and probably downsides – all the way around.
You’re stuck because there are real things at stake: relationships, money, time, your sense of yourself.
You’re stuck because other people’s voices are in your head, telling you what they think you should do, and maybe they have a point.
You’re stuck because you want to be true to you and to your relationships, and you can’t see a way to do that.
You’re stuck because there is no one right answer.
What you need is a way to quiet all of the endless pros and cons, all the voices of friends and loved ones and society, and listen for the still small voice of truth that is at the heart of you.
What you need is structured discernment.
What is structured discernment?
Structured discernment is a process of applying specific discernment techniques and noticing what information arises from them.
For example, you might use a technique to tune into your body’s wisdom, because your body doesn’t get caught up in all the shoulds. When and about what does your body feel more open and relaxed? When does your body feel constricted or tense? Does it match what you expected, or were you surprised by a reaction?
Structured discernment uses tools that access embodied wisdom, techniques from various religious traditions, and good old pen and paper to help you explore the question in a deep, connected, truthful way.
You know structured discernment has worked when you arrive at the choice that feels peaceful.
I can help you find your peace
I have twenty years’ experience with practices of discernment, both as a questioner and as a guide. I have found these techniques invaluable in my own life and in the lives of the people I work with.
It’s not that I have the answers – only you have the answers for you. What I bring are the questions, the safe space, the dedicated time, and the loving attention to you and your needs.
While I use discernment techniques in most of my work, I know the value of time set aside just for discernment. I’m offering a Discernment Package designed to give you the support, tools, and time you need to come to a decision or understanding that you feel peaceful about.
What the Discernment Package includes
The Discernment Package is designed to provide you with a safe, supportive, structured environment to explore the question you’re struggling with.
Initial recording, describing the bones of structured discernment
Three 60-minute phone or Skype sessions covering your concerns and introducing new discernment techniques
Questions, reminders and prompts to help you between sessions
Unlimited email conversations to support your discernment between sessions
Recordings of each of our calls so you can go back in between sessions
All of this costs only $250 – and because you’re learning reliable techniques, you’ll be able to use them to make better decisions for the rest of your life.
Frequently asked questions
How close together should the calls be?
I generally recommend that calls be about two weeks apart. With email support, that makes this a six-week commitment on both our parts.
What if I’m not sure what my question is?
Your sense of disquiet is the question. We can delve into that sense of disquiet using the techniques to find out what it’s asking of you.
How is this different from talking to my friends or loved ones?
There are a few differences. The first is that the process is structured, so that you can get out of the endless conversational loops.
The second is that I have no stake in whatever you choose to do. Friends and family, howevermuch they love you, will be affected by your choices, which colors their support. I can be entirely on your side.
This question feels very private and tender.
Of course it does. Please know that our conversations are confidential, and I approach all of them with a commitment to gentleness.
I saw that some of the techniques are religious. I’m … not.
That’s okay! None of these techniques depend on an adherence to any particular belief system. They’re simply tools that have emerged out of and that are frequently used in religious contexts.
Yes! I’m in!
Excellent! I’m excited to work with you.Yes! I'm in!