{"id":8348,"date":"2020-10-09T05:00:57","date_gmt":"2020-10-09T12:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/?p=8348"},"modified":"2020-10-13T16:03:58","modified_gmt":"2020-10-13T23:03:58","slug":"hell-can-even-anything","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/hell-can-even-anything\/","title":{"rendered":"How the Hell Can We Even Do Anything"},"content":{"rendered":"

Two Thursdays from now, on October 29th, we will attend to and embody the complicated web of ancestry. We will raise our glasses to those who have gone before us and, by extension, think on those who come after. Do join us for a party for our Dead, those who are wise and bright and bless us by their example\u2026and let us remember both them and those whose lives have been cautionary tales. Let us have mirth and reverence together and offer <\/em><\/span>Toast to the Ancestors<\/em><\/span><\/a>. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Oh my dears \u2013 <\/span><\/p>\n

Warning: this letter is stuh-ressed right OUT. <\/span><\/p>\n

Heard at the Clarenbach house: <<sigh>> \u201cI am so overwhelmed.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI just don\u2019t know what to do next, I\u2019m so tired.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t think straight. Everything I have to do is filling me with dread, and I don\u2019t know where to start.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Hmmmmmm\u2026 <\/span><\/p>\n

Do you think I might be overwhelmed? <\/span><\/p>\n

So many of us are. <\/span><\/p>\n

My God, parents. Parents. (And teachers too!) <\/span><\/p>\n

Y\u2019all, you get all the sparkle points in the book from me this week. I don\u2019t know that I have any wisdom for you because you are parents 24\/7, and I don\u2019t ever want you to think that I\u2019ve forgotten about you \u2013 I just pray for you, and if you need short-term spiritual accompaniment, please let me know. <\/span><\/p>\n

In my case, overwhelm on the level I\u2019m experiencing it is a part of depression, so I have to be super careful to keep an eye on it. And I know I\u2019m not the only one. <\/span><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing: <\/span><\/p>\n

Overwhelm says, I have to push harder. I have to get more done. I have to meet the deadline. <\/span><\/p>\n

According to Okun and Jones\u2019s work on the culture of white supremacy, part of what we deal with every day are a false sense of urgency and unreasonable, inhumane deadlines and expectations. These expectations are often based on profit for a few at the expense of the quality of life, and even life span, of many. <\/span><\/p>\n

Stress is real, friends. It is real, and it is eating us alive. <\/span><\/p>\n

The Rapist-in-Chief is still \u2013 as of this writing \u2013 telling people not to worry about COVID-19. And yet it hangs over our every decision about whether or not to go shopping, to order take-out, to visit with friends and loved ones, to dare to go to the ER if something seems wrong. <\/span><\/p>\n

COVID-19 is stressful. <\/span><\/p>\n

We will see, come that fateful Tuesday in November, or in the days that follow, just how broken our democracy is. Will our votes be counted? Will the people with the most to lose be able to get to the polls? Will the Rapist-in-Chief \u2013 AGAIN \u2013 steal an election with the help of foreign powers? <\/span><\/p>\n

Thinking about voting is stressful. <\/span><\/p>\n

And the deadlines we\u2019ve placed on ourselves or those who work with and for us, in employed work, in volunteer work, in church work\u2026we make arbitrary decisions that cause a false sense of urgency that lead us to feel as though we have no choice but to plunge ahead, no matter how stressed out we are! <\/span><\/p>\n

Thinking about work is stressful. <\/span><\/p>\n

Our surge capacity is depleted \u2013 our ability is manage short-term threats is basically gone, friends, it\u2019s gone. How the hell can we manage our lives? How ARE we managing our lives? And if we\u2019re reading this letter, I am reminded as I write it, we\u2019re likely to be pretty far up the status ladder of our culture. We know only the slightest bit of the damage being done\u2026 <\/span><\/p>\n

But if you\u2019re like me, your first instinct in all these cases is to push. <\/span><\/p>\n

Push through the fear. <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let anxiety about A FUCKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC \u201cdominate you.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Push through your work and come hell or high water, do everything you can to meet the deadlines, do the work, wear yourself threadbare and burn that candle at both ends. <\/span><\/p>\n

But you know. <\/span><\/p>\n

You know the way through. <\/span><\/p>\n

Overwhelm is a sense of isolation, of broken connection from ourselves and from those who might help us. Overwhelm leaves us looking at the whole mess of everything before us, unable to choose one thing, just one thing, to pick up and put into its rightful place. Overwhelm is drowning in a sea of details\u2026 so what\u2019s to do? <\/span><\/p>\n

The key to that instinct to push, push, push is to resist pushing wherever you possibly can. <\/span><\/p>\n

Renegotiate deadlines based on human capacity and flourishing, rather than what calendars call for at any given moment. <\/span><\/p>\n

Cancel what is unnecessary. And be pretty darn ruthless about what is unnecessary. <\/span><\/p>\n

Remember \u201cNo, I\u2019m sorry, I just can\u2019t,\u201d is an acceptable answer. <\/span><\/p>\n

And most important, dear friends, connect. Connect with friends. Connect with helpers. <\/span><\/p>\n

And connect with that deep place within yourself that remembers who you are. A Child of Earth and Starry Heaven, A Child of the Universe. adequate for the situation at hand, given the help you need. <\/span><\/p>\n

Connect with Divine, Beloved. Connect with the Divine. Just take five minutes \u2013 in the bathroom, if you have to, in the car, in a closet if necessary \u2013 and pause. Five minutes just to breathe. Just to breathe. Just to breathe. And then let your heart unfold, soft as owl\u2019s feathers, tender as a newborn\u2019s skin\u2014so tender you can hardly feel it\u2014open like a door welcoming the Divine to come in. Breathe, remember, to breathe, and remember, it\u2019s just five minutes. You can do it. You can come to yourself. You can find the wherewithal to do what needs to happen in the next hour or two. You can. That\u2019s all. <\/span><\/p>\n

I know you can do it. Just try, try to be gentle with your hearts, in the midst of the chaos and the din and the noise of the news and the noise of the kids and the noise of our own worries. And try to surrender to the stillness that is under the noise, just for five minutes. And if you can\u2019t do that, then try two and half minutes, and we\u2019ll call it good. Remember, bathrooms and closets count. <\/span><\/p>\n

On which note of gentleness, I tell you that I\u2019m going to take lots more than five minutes. I\u2019m going to take nearly a whole week off and try to re-member my own self. I took two and half days for Beltane in May, but that\u2019s all the planned time off this year, friends, since New Year\u2019s. And that\u2019s just ridiculous and untenable for a brain and body like mine. So there will be no Reflections next week, and I shall be unavailable until the 19th. Trying to undo the overwhelm. Trying to rest, renew, read (trashy novel and then maybe something \u201cedifying\u201d and we\u2019ll call it study leave? NO! Time OFF, you!)\u2026 see, I\u2019m not so good at this either. <\/span><\/p>\n

The prospect of time off is really scary for me. Even the five minutes I\u2019ve prescribed for you are sometimes hard for me. But I know that when I pray, when I unfold the veils from around my heart and turn to the Wellspring of Love, there is always a drink for me there. Always a drink available. My life is always better when I go, go to the water. <\/span><\/p>\n

I will still find false urgency painful and I will still have to work at finding ways to connect, but She Whose body encircles the Universe\u2026 The Goddess Whose love is poured forth upon the Earth\u2026 The One Who is the Source of Love and the Creator of Life\u2026 the God Whose gifts of solace and compassion are always available\u2026 <\/span><\/p>\n

And it is all there, available, waiting for you. As the Sufis say, take ten steps toward the One and the One will take ten steps toward you. <\/span><\/p>\n

Blessings of peace to your hearts, my loves \u2013 <\/span><\/p>\n

Catharine <\/span><\/p>\n

PS. For some lightness in your schedule, and an opening to both the fun and the gravity of the ancestors\u2019 holidays, don\u2019t forget to help us <\/span>raise our glasses on the 29th<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Two Thursdays from now, on October 29th, we will attend to and embody the complicated web of ancestry. We will raise our glasses to those who have gone before us and, by extension, think on those who come after. Do join us for a party for our Dead, those who are wise and bright and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":9365,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8348"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8348"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8348\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9365"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thewayoftheriver.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}